The World’s Most Accurate Fortune Cookies | Microfiction

Maneki-neko illustration - "The Worlds Most Accurate Fortune Cookies" microfiction

The waiter approaches the couple’s table and lays a plate between them with a flourish.

“Sir and madam, may I present to you the World’s Most Accurate Fortune Cookies. These cookies are handmade by a renowned oracle. The cookies which you select from this plate are destined for you, and you alone. Inside, you will learn of your fate.”

“We know,” says the boyfriend, “we read your reviews on Yelp.”

“Apologies, sir,” mutters the waiter. “It’s in my contract to give the spiel every time I present the fortune cookies. Enjoy, and use this knowledge wisely.” With that, he leaves them to it.

“I wonder if it’s really true,” says the girlfriend, as she plucks a cookie from the plate.

“I hope so,” says the boyfriend, as he closes his eyes and chooses his cookie blind. “We’ve paid a fortune for this meal just for these bloody cookies.”

The pair snap their cookies in two and unravel the scrolls of paper tucked inside.

Unknowingly, they both read the very same words:

A new lover is destined to cross your path. Out with the old, in with the new.

The couple scrunch up their scrolls in unison.

“It just says a load of vague rubbish,” says the boyfriend.

“Mine too,” mutters the girlfriend. “Let’s get out of here.”

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