The Ultimate Anti-Aging Secret | Microfiction

Dog laying on its back illustration - "The Ultimate Anti-Aging Secret" microfiction

“You’re never 60!”

“I am.”

Her colleagues stare at her with pure jealousy. She doesn’t look a day over 45.

“What’s your secret?”

“Ah… that would be telling,” she says smugly.

“What moisturiser do you use?”

“Or is it some sort of serum? I’ve heard serums are good, whatever they are.”

“Is it your diet? Are you one of these gluten-free raw keto vegans?”

“Do you have a bit of that Botox every now and again?”

“No! How dare you?”

“Well tell us your secret, then! Why do you look so bloody young?”

She shrugs. “There is no secret. It runs in my family – everyone looks youthful.”

Her colleagues grumble, cursing their own bad luck in the genetics lottery.

***

She arrives home to her loyal old hound – a giant, shaggy-haired beast with an exceptionally runny nose – dancing from foot to foot, thrilled to see her.

“Good dog! Come here, let’s wipe your nose.” She grabs a tissue, rubs at the dogs snout, then dabs the snotty rag on her own face.

“They’ll never know my secret,” she whispers, while the pooch wags its tail. “Dog snot – the best anti-aging skincare in the world.”


Author’s note:

When I want to come up with new stories, I think of a random word or phrase and try to work it into some sort of coherent concept. For some dumb reason that I can’t explain, “dog snot” popped into mind. And that made me think of my Mum’s dog – a huge and adorable German Shepherd/Poodle cross whose giant nose is aaalways dribbling with snot. And somehow, that developed into this very stupid little story.

Now, I’m not insinuating that the dog’s nose dribbles are a part of my Mum’s skincare regime, but now I think about it, she does look younger than her years. Very suspicious indeed…

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Author: Ellie Scott

Ellie Scott is a freelance copywriter and fiction writer from Sheffield, UK. She writes speculative and silly short stories and flash fiction. In 2018 she was shortlisted for the Bridport Prize Short Story Competition and published her first book, 'Merry Bloody Christmas: A Short Story Collection'. You can often find her hanging out on Twitter (@itsemscott), Instagram (@tinysillystories) and Medium (@elliemaryscott), or hibernating on her sofa with a book and a very large glass of gin.

6 thoughts on “The Ultimate Anti-Aging Secret | Microfiction”

  1. Love this story Ellie, fortunately my skin is down to genes and creams, not dog snot, although that would be a cheaper option!
    Come here Tia, mummy wants to wipe you nose!!!

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