What the Hell Are You? | Flash Fiction

“They stole our name?”

“Yes, boss.”

“How dare they?”

“Their gall is astounding, boss.”

“And I suppose they expect to take over our turf?”

“We can’t say for sure, boss. But it’s a serious possibility.”

“I am incandescent with rage.”

“I’m sure, boss.”

“Bring one of them to me.”

Continue reading on Medium >

Tiny Explosion. Big Leak | Microfiction

This week’s silly, stupid stories from Instagram and Twitter.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Ellie Scott (@tinysillystories) on

Continue reading “Tiny Explosion. Big Leak | Microfiction”

War | Flash Fiction

“Sir? We’ve just received intel that suggests the enemy will be conducting a major strike at any moment.”

“What kind of strike?”

“Like nothing we’ve ever seen before. Sort of a… complete elimination, I suppose. The destruction of everything we’ve ever known.”

“Will you stop blabbering and get to the point. What are they planning?”

“They’re going to remove the carpets, sir.” Continue reading “War | Flash Fiction”

Remorse | Microfiction

The bandage had been wrapped around Catherine’s hand for three weeks.

“Come on, love,” said Mum. “Take it off, eh? You don’t need it anymore.”

“Yes I do.”

“It must be all healed up by now.”

“Maybe. But there’ll be a scar.”

“Is that what you’re worried about? Because everybody has scars, love. Nobody will bat an eye.”

She will.”

Continue reading on Medium >

SPLAT. | Microfiction

This week’s silly social stories.

Continue reading “SPLAT. | Microfiction”

Lucky | Microfiction

“What do you want for your birthday, Mum?”

“Oh, nothing! Don’t waste your money on me, pet.”

“I’m a millionaire, Mum. Let me spoil you!”

“I have everything I could ever need.”

“But what about something you want?” Continue reading “Lucky | Microfiction”

Cheesy Git | Flash Fiction

Every single soul who sampled it said that Fool’s Gold Cheddar was the best cheese they’d ever had. And Keith had created it all by himself, at home one rainy Sunday afternoon. He couldn’t be more proud of himself.

Now, it’s set to be stocked in delicatessens, farm shops and supermarkets right across the county. He takes in the audience that stands before him and beams. They’re looking at him like he’s a genius. He’s the hallowed cheese magician, creator of the smoothest, creamiest, tangiest cheddar that has ever passed their lips.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” he begins. “Thank you so much for coming to our launch party this evening. This is a huge deal for me. I went from a bored and boring old banker, stuck in a 9-to-5 job that I despised. And now I’m my own boss doing something I absolutely love. I couldn’t be more grateful for all the support you’ve given me over the past year.

“Now, lots of people ask me, ‘What’s the secret to Fool’s Gold Cheddar? How do you make it so tangy? What is it that gives it that unique, sharp flavour?’ Well, I’m going to reveal my secret to you tonight, ladies and gents.”

Continue reading on Medium >

Pep Talk | Flash Fiction

I look in the mirror and grimace. Deep bags under my eyes. Pimples on my chin. Eyebrows in dire need of a pluck.

“Gross,” I whisper to myself.

“Who the hell are you calling gross?” I say back.

It’s me, talking back to me. My reflection is moving of its own accord and it’s talking to me. Continue reading “Pep Talk | Flash Fiction”

Eff… Eff… Effervescent! | Microfiction

All the silly stories from my social media this week.

Come What May Day | Another Short Story Collection!

Today is the launch of my latest collection of short stories, Come What May Day, which naturally has me feeling all excited and utterly fraught with nerves in equal measures.

Just like my last collection, each story in Come What May Day takes place in the same nameless Yorkshire town and on the same day, only this time the onset of spring has brought about some new adventures.

May Day has arrived and the storm clouds have parted just enough for the annual May Fair to kick off without a hitch. But how long will it be until the town’s dark streak rears its ugly head? Continue reading “Come What May Day | Another Short Story Collection!”