And so the ritual begins. Small humans roam the streets, all hyped up on the kinds of treats that big humans typically ration for the purpose of bribery. Humiliating outfits are abound, comprised of old rags, plastic sacks, enormous white sheets, obnoxiously large, wide-brimmed hats, and an array of peculiar masks which make humans look a smidgeon uglier than they already are. Vegetables are carved to look like ghoulish grinning faces and plonked outside doorways and in windows to give us poor felines a fright as we go about our night-time exploits. (Felines other than myself, of course. Nothing frightens me, I can assure you.) Then there’s all the noise—the yells and screams and cries from humans of all sizes, even the ones large enough and old enough to know better. The entire palaver makes my tail itch.Continue reading “A Lockout | Short Story (Excerpt from ‘All Hallows’ Hell’)”
It’s spring, it’s sunny and times are uncertain, but at least we have books, right? On that note, I’ve made my short story collection, Come What May Day, available for free until May 18th. You can grab a copy now from Amazon.
New book! All Hallows’ Hell
I’m working hard on the upcoming release of my Halloween-themed short story collection All Hallows’ Hell, which is now available for pre-order! If you like creepy stories, spooky stories, silly stories and cats, this is the book for you. It’ll be available in ebook and paperback on October 1st 2020.
Feelin’ festive? Fancy a freebie? My short story collection, Merry Bloody Christmas is available for FREE for the next five days.
In a gloomy Yorkshire town on a snowy Christmas Eve, nothing pans out exactly as it should…
An awkward breakup, a vengeful turkey, digitalised ghosts and alien abductions. A chocoholic grizzly bear, a talking Christmas tree, mince pie overdoses and a very bloody murder.
Will poor old Saint Nick make it out alive?
Head over to Amazon to grab your FREE copy of Merry Bloody Christmas now.
Ho-ho-ho, Merry Bookmas!
Round and round goes the hamster in his wheel, sending up giggles from the human faces which peer through the bars of his cage.
“He just keeps going, doesn’t he?”
“Why does he run for so long, Mummy?”
“I suppose he’s just having sooo much fun!”
The hamster lets out an indignant squeak. Fun? Ha! As if, he thinks. His heart hums and his lungs burn with exertion. But look… it might just all be worth it… Continue reading “Silly Hammy | Microfiction”
Teensy-weensy stories I wrote on social media this week.
Molten liquid bubbles in the #crucible while the evil villain looks on.
“Time to sacrifice another. Boil away!”
Cackling, she tosses the next victim to its death.
“Lucy! My best saucepan… look at the mess! Turn off that hob and put those gummy bears down.”
— Ellie Scott (@itsemscott) June 2, 2019
It’s Spring Bank Holiday weekend here in the UK, which means three things: an extra day off on Monday, ice-cold cider all weekend long, and my latest eBook available to buy for FREE in every Amazon marketplace.
Come What May Day has 20 overlapping, interweaving, multi-genre short stories that will make you laugh, roll your eyes, and be a little bit sick in your mouth.
This offer is only available until midnight on Monday, so be sure grab your free copy on Amazon ASAP!
May Day has arrived in a gloomy Yorkshire town, and the storm clouds have parted just enough for the annual May Fair to kick off without a hitch. But how long will it be until the town’s dark streak rears its ugly head?
There’s some very questionable meat on the barbecue, a chainsaw-wielding madman is on the loose, and a couple of aliens are trying to figure out if Earth is worth all the hype.
The Morris dancers can’t remember their moves, the maypole is commandeered by a ribbon-addicted feline, and an animal army is awaiting in the woods to set a revolution in motion.
Will the May Queen be deserved of her crown? Will the Federation of Knitters finally gossip itself into oblivion? And will the Green Man get away with his usual mischief before the twisted trees scupper his plans?
Silly, sweet and sinister, these funny short stories for adults are the perfect read for a lazy spring weekend.
Catch up with some of the characters from the author’s previous collection – Merry Bloody Christmas – or get to the know them for the first time with Come What May Day.
And if you’re a Brit, may the sun shine down on your Bank Holiday Weekend with only minimal amounts of (sadly inevitable) rain.
This week’s silly, stupid stories from Instagram and Twitter.
View this post on Instagram
This week’s silly social stories.
“Orphans, #waifs, strays, urchins, guttersnipes. I’ll take ‘em all! Feed ‘em, water ‘em, put ‘em to work!”
“Will you take this one?”
“Tatty hair, belligerent frown. Looks like a Ragamuffin.”
The cat hissed.
“I don’t take Ragamuffins. Sinister breed. Manx ‘n Moggies only.”#vss365
— Ellie Scott (@itsemscott) May 6, 2019
‘He’s terribly cute.’
Cute aren’t I?
I’d make a lovely lodger. Neat. Tidy. Quiet, except for when the postman comes and you need an advance warning of him shoving danger through the letterbox. Continue reading “An Ode to Sausages | Short Story”