There’s a little town on the east coast of England – known as Estonville – which is twinned with a little town on the west coast of England – known as Westonville.
The roads of each town are the same. The houses are the same. The locations of schools, shops, and businesses are the all same. Even the people in the two settlements are the same. Well… almost. Continue reading “Twinned With”
“Stop running around like a blue-arsed fly and sit down on the blanket!”
The child froze, then turned to his mother and pouted. “But I’m bored.”
“I’m bored of your whinging.”
“But I’m hungry.”
“So sit on the blanket and eat some berries.” His mother raised her brows to let the child know that there would be dire consequences if he disobeyed. Continue reading “Today’s The Day”
Kelly examined her reflection in the mirror. She had a towel wrapped up in a pile on top her head, and another tucked around her body. Her skin was still flush from the heat of the shower, and she wished that she could always look as radiant.
No matter, she thought. She’d only be plastering her war paint over the top. Bold, black eyeliner and deep red lips, applied in just the way the woman on the makeup counter had shown her. It was her signature look, now, and it worked perfectly with her new capsule wardrobe which was crammed full of sleek, tailored outfits that proved she meant business. Continue reading “Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes”
I swear, if he breathes again it’ll be the last breath he takes.
Oh, there it is. The long, squeaky inhale through the nose and the rattling huff through the mouth.
Does he realise how loud he’s being? Is there something wrong with him? Is it normal for human breath to make that kind of noise? Continue reading “Never Again”
The room was quiet, save for the steady electrical hum of computers and the soft tip-tap of keyboards and mice. Five operators sat in line, each with their face illuminated by the vivid glow of their monitors.
They were coming up to 3am, and they knew the requests would soon come flooding in, not because paranormal connections where higher at this time than any other, but because that’s what non-dead souls thought to be true. Continue reading “Operator”
This is probably too many vegetables for one person to carry unaided. If I lose my grip on these handles I’ll be chasing cauliflowers and apples down the street and looking like a prize idiot. Good exercise, though, I guess. Ugh.
Why does there have to be a bakery three shops down from the greengrocers? Why do they have to leave their door wide open so that the street is filled with the scent of freshly baked pastries and melting chocolate? Why, why, why? Continue reading “Resistance is Futile”
“Hi, welcome to the Orange store, how can I help you today?” The store assistant has a sickly smile on her face, but there’s nothing but hopelessness behind her eyes.
“Um, I’ve got a problem with my PeelBook Profesh and I was wondering if you could help me?”
“That’s not something I’ll be able to help you with I’m afraid. We don’t offer tech support in this branch.” Continue reading “Wrong Branch”
“I’ve had a bad week,” says Wendy, as she swirls her car keys around and around her finger. “It’s because I was stressed. Work cut my hours on Monday.”
Gasps and tsks and murmurs go up from the group.
“I can’t believe it. I can’t afford to be working less. I think I’m going to have look for a new job altogether, and I’m not looking forward to that because I’m shit at interviews. Anyway, that was just the start of it. Continue reading “Confessions”
“So, we’ve tenderized the meat, we’ve smothered it in a delicious coating of egg, flour, and breadcrumbs – seasoned to perfection, I might add – so what’s next?”
The audience remained quiet. The chef waited a few moments to allow them to marinate in their own silence, hoping they would realise how disrespectful they were being. Continue reading “Schnitzel”