Thistles | Flash Fiction

Thistles in bloom

There’s nowt but thistles that live on the empty plot at the end of the street. It was home to a house once upon a time, but that place burned to the ground many moons ago. All that remains is a labyrinth of thistles, the only plants vicious and spiky and determined enough to sprout from the scorched ground.

Nobody knows who started the fire, but there’s always been murmurings and pointed fingers. Some say it was a cigarette, still smouldering, left carelessly on the arm of a chair. Others say it was a dodgy extension cable or a dodgy toaster or a dodgy electric heater. More still say it was something much more sinister.

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Let’s Walk (TiK ToK) | A Song Parody

Panting dog on lead

I wrote a song parody of ‘TiK ToK’ by Ke$ha for a fab Medium publication called Song Done Wrong. It made me snigger and I’m pretty proud of it, but I do apologise for inflicting this obnoxious earworm upon your lugholes. It takes me back to my uni days… oh, the hangovers.

Wake up in the morning feeling like I’m dizzy
Grab my dog I’m out the door ‘cos she needs to get busy
Before I leave, grab my coat and a big woolly hat
‘Cos when I peer out the door I know I’ll freeze in that

I’m talking icicles from my nose, nose
Wearing five layers of clothes, clothes
Cheeks got a bright red glow, glow

Skip-hopping while dog tugs on her lead, lead
Rollin’ up at the park scene
Tryin’ to get a little bit cosy

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Photo by Tucker Good on Unsplash

The Voice

music notes illustration

Bruno froze at the click of the bathroom door. He heard the floorboards creak, a splosh, then the squeak of skin on the bottom of the tub. He waited for the sound of moving water to subside, and then he let the silence hang for a couple of minutes.

Satisfied that his roommate was fully ensconced in her bubblebath, Bruno launched himself at the sofa, then clambered up onto the back of it. From there, he manoeuvred himself to perch on the windowsill. Continue reading “The Voice”

Queens of The Stone Age: Get Drunk, Get Laid & F**king Do Cool Sh*t

Everyone at some point wants to be in a band; it may be when they’re 15 and playing air guitar in front of the mirror whilst discovering Hendrix, or when they’re 30 and they’ve realised their youth has passed them by, or 50 and still believing they have must have some kind of deeper purpose in life and that purpose may well be music. I don’t believe there is anybody, no matter of their age, gender, job or class, who hasn’t wanted to be pop star, rock star or badass band member. If there is somebody, I wouldn’t want to know them. Continue reading “Queens of The Stone Age: Get Drunk, Get Laid & F**king Do Cool Sh*t”

Jack White: 21st Century Bluesman

Jack White’s music has varied between rock, folk, experimental and alternative, but the roots of it lie in blues. He has admitted that in 1999, after The White Stripes’ first album release, he made it his mission to modernise the blues and continue the blues legacy into a new century. Perhaps it is down to the way in which White incorporates several different genres of music into his sound that makes his version of the blues popular, or perhaps it is simply because he himself – exotic yet homely, gothic yet traditional – is strange and interesting enough to make people want to listen. Either way, he’s worth $30million; we must assume that he has sold plenty of records and that people across the world are enjoying his modern take on the blues. Continue reading “Jack White: 21st Century Bluesman”