“8-day walk weeks. Living kibble portions for all. Nationalisation of every squirrel-infested woodland in the UK.
“Free obedience classes for all ages – pups to seniors. Hundreds of thousands of new, affordable kennels.
Continue reading “Vote Dog | Microfiction”
Earl wipes sweat from his brow. Pearl gnaws on her fingernails. Their entire relationship depends on the outcome of this single moment – a polygraph test.
The examiner shakes his head. “The system says it was a lie.”
Earl explodes. “I knew it! How could you do that to me? And how could you lie to me about doing that to me?”
Continue reading “Liar | Microfiction”
There was an old woman from Hull,
Her finger she asked me to pull,
I dumbly agreed,
Oh, what a misdeed,
For she let rip a stench quite awful.
Continue reading “A Bad Limerick | Microfiction”
Dear diary,
The search for life on Mars is finally over! We did it! We found it! Can you believe it?
All that time, all that money, all that high-tech equipment has finally paid off. And it’s such a big deal for me on a personal level. Finally, I know the truth… Continue reading “There Is Life On Mars | Microfiction”
I only open my curtains when the sun’s gone down. It’s so I don’t have to see the people in the garden. They freak me out with their wide, dead-eyed stares. Continue reading “My Evening Routine | Microfiction”
“Help. Help us! My friend’s been knifed. He’s bleeding out.”
The little girl eyes the panicked lime that stands before her, along with his injured lemon friend who is oozing juice fast. “Oh. I don’t know what to do.” Continue reading “Bleeding Out | Microfiction”
Hey, how do you do?
Do you see all this poo
that’s smeared in my lovely hair?
It’s a statement, you see,
for the silly lady
who is in charge of my care. Continue reading “Eau de Poo (A Poem by My Dog) | Microfiction”
She had to stand on tiptoes — on top of a stack of books, on top of a dining chair — to reach the forbidden cupboard. What might lay inside, she wondered. Chocolate? Sweeties? Chocolate-covered sweeties?
She pulled open the door and yelped. Continue reading “Behind the Cupboard Door | Microfiction”
AAAAaaarrggghhhuuuuurrrgggghhhh it burns! Continue reading “The Earth Died Swearing | Microfiction”
