I’m taking a break from writing/posting for a couple of weeks because my brain’s being a real piece of shit at the moment. Plus, I’m going on my jolly holidays to Cornwall next week and I’ll be too busy soothing my soul with Cornish cream teas, catching up with family, and writing “Ellie Rulez” repeatedly in the sand on the beach.
In the meantime, here’s a really stupid story that I posted on Medium last week and forgot to link here. I thought it was funny when I wrote it… you be the judge.
Ta ta for now.
Well there I was, hanging out with my friends after school, all of us bored out of our minds, when some bright spark decided we should play Chicken.
You know what Chicken is? It’s this dumb game where you run out into a road in front of a car and try to get to the other side without getting hit. Stupid, right?
What’s stupider is that I didn’t know how to play. Never heard of the so-called ‘game’ before in my entire 16-year-long life. But I didn’t tell the guys that, did I?
“You go first,” they said, since I was the new kid in town.
And I was all like, “Yeah, sure, cool, awesome,” without actually clarifying the rules of the game. I just wanted to fit in with the idiots, okay? In hindsight I did a pretty good job.
Continue reading on Medium >
I jump and my stomach – I swear to God – my stomach leaps up into my throat and tries to choke me to death.
I cough and hack and gasp for air as I tumble over and over, seeing green then blue then green then blue. Air rushes past me and batters my face, stinging my skin. If this hurts, what will the landing feel like? Face-first into concrete, in an ideal world. Will I feel anything at all or will it all be over before I know it? Continue reading “The Big Jump | Flash Fiction”
Teensy-weensy stories I wrote on social media this week.
Continue reading “Leg It! | Microfiction”
“Come down. Please.”
“But it’s been days.”
“You can’t stay in the tree forever.”
“I can if I want.”
“I said sorry.”
“Your apology is futile.”
“How can I make it up to you?”
Continue reading on Medium >
Silly stories from my social media pages this week…
View this post on Instagram
Continue reading “I Saw It on National Geographic | Microfiction”
This week’s silly stories from social media.
The corpse, stretched out on its back on the kitchen floor, twitched.
“Seeing things,” said the detective, rubbing at weary eyes. She turned away to examine the pattern of blood spatters on the tiled walls.
When she turned back the corpse was sitting upright.
Continue reading at One Minute Wit >
“What do you want for your birthday, Mum?”
“Oh, nothing! Don’t waste your money on me, pet.”
“I’m a millionaire, Mum. Let me spoil you!”
“I have everything I could ever need.”
“But what about something you want?” Continue reading “Lucky | Microfiction”
I look in the mirror and grimace. Deep bags under my eyes. Pimples on my chin. Eyebrows in dire need of a pluck.
“Gross,” I whisper to myself.
“Who the hell are you calling gross?” I say back.
It’s me, talking back to me. My reflection is moving of its own accord and it’s talking to me. Continue reading “Pep Talk | Flash Fiction”