Bill had been living in London for two weeks when he was suddenly struck with an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. He didn’t have any friends in the city and it was harder than he thought it would be to get to know the people he worked with. They all seemed so closed off and although they were polite enough to make idle chat about their weekends and their hobbies, they maintained an attitude that said ‘I have enough friends, thanks. I don’t need friends at work.’ Continue reading “Billboard”
‘Break friends, break friends, never, never make friends,’ said Lucy as she shook the paw of Taz, her teddy bear, then slung him across the room.
Taz had really done it this time. There was no way Lucy would ever speak to him again after what he’d done. He’d gossiped about her behind her back to Reg the rabbit and if there was something Lucy couldn’t stand it was gossips. Continue reading “Best Friend”
‘It’s not fair,’ moaned the toilet, ‘I have to take shit from everybody whilst the rest of you have nice clean jobs.’
‘That’s not strictly true,’ replied the bathtub. ‘I’ve had plenty of shit from that kid. He’s got a dirty habit of doing his business as soon as he gets in me. I mean, how am I supposed to feel like I’m doing my job right when I know there have been turds floating about in my water? The parents think it’s cute but it’s not, it’s pure filthy.’ Continue reading “Bathtub”
‘She’s got a face like a bashed crab.’
‘Well that’s not a legitimate reason to dislike her.’
‘But it doesn’t help though, does it?’ Continue reading “Bashed Crab”