The Lottery

“Hurry up, it’s almost on,” he shouted from the sofa, remote control in hand.

“I can’t find it!” she called from the hallway. She’d already pulled everything out of her purse and was scrabbling through month-old receipts and year-old gum wrappers at the bottom of her handbag.

“If you’ve lost that ticket and it’s a winning one I’ll never forgive you.” Continue reading “The Lottery”

Bubblegum Blues

I saw a little kid walking away from an ice cream kiosk with an ice cream in such a vivid shade of blue that it almost hurt my eyes to look at it.

Naturally, I had to try it for myself.

I approached the kiosk and asked for a single scoop in a waffle cone. Turns out it was bubblegum flavour and it was absolutely fucking delicious. Continue reading “Bubblegum Blues”

Surprise, Valentine

My legs are aching and I know his are, too. We’re both exhausted, but we feel a sense of achievement like no other. I can speak for him, you see, because we’re always in touch with each other’s feelings. We’re a part of each other. He’s in my head, and I’m in his. We can basically finish each other’s sentences. Continue reading “Surprise, Valentine”

Stage Fright

Three hours I’ve waited in line. This better be worth it. Best attraction in London, they said. Get there early to beat the queues, they said. I was here at 9am on the dot and I still had to join the line three streets away from the theatre. It must be good if it’s this popular, but these days it’s hard to know what’s genuinely good and what’s just hype. Group of kids hanging around earlier were talking about waiting in the line just to see what the fuss was all about. Had no idea what they were even queuing for. Idiots. Continue reading “Stage Fright”

In From the Cold

It looks warm in there. The human has its arms bared to the air, so the temperature must be far better than it is out here. The dog looks toasty, too, despite it being bereft of half of its coat. Thank goodness for its impressive ability to grow hair. I couldn’t believe my luck when I saw the human brushing out its downy fur and simply discarding of it on the lawn. Continue reading “In From the Cold”

Inspecting

“Tickets, please.”

He’s got a hangover and a half. Eyes look like piss-holes in the snow. Staring out the window like he’s got stuff on his mind, but I bet there’s nothing going on in his head except him wondering when he can have his next drink.

“Tickets, please.” Continue reading “Inspecting”

Stand Up, Please

“So we’re on this date, right, fancy restaurant, posh wine, candlelight so dim she can’t see my face – we’re onto a winner, is all I’m saying.”

Tumbleweed. This crowd is the worst.

“Then the waiter comes over and brings us a menu. And I open it, and I’m looking through, and it all sounds lovely. Posh shit, but lovely. Tiny things on massive plates, with green stuff smeared on the side like baby poo. You know the sort of stuff.” Continue reading “Stand Up, Please”