Resistance is Futile

This is probably too many vegetables for one person to carry unaided. If I lose my grip on these handles I’ll be chasing cauliflowers and apples down the street and looking like a prize idiot. Good exercise, though, I guess. Ugh.

Why does there have to be a bakery three shops down from the greengrocers? Why do they have to leave their door wide open so that the street is filled with the scent of freshly baked pastries and melting chocolate? Why, why, why? Continue reading “Resistance is Futile”

Confessions

“I’ve had a bad week,” says Wendy, as she swirls her car keys around and around her finger. “It’s because I was stressed. Work cut my hours on Monday.”

Gasps and tsks and murmurs go up from the group.

“I can’t believe it. I can’t afford to be working less. I think I’m going to have look for a new job altogether, and I’m not looking forward to that because I’m shit at interviews. Anyway, that was just the start of it. Continue reading “Confessions”

Schnitzel

“So, we’ve tenderized the meat, we’ve smothered it in a delicious coating of egg, flour, and breadcrumbs – seasoned to perfection, I might add – so what’s next?”

The audience remained quiet. The chef waited a few moments to allow them to marinate in their own silence, hoping they would realise how disrespectful they were being. Continue reading “Schnitzel”

The Lottery

“Hurry up, it’s almost on,” he shouted from the sofa, remote control in hand.

“I can’t find it!” she called from the hallway. She’d already pulled everything out of her purse and was scrabbling through month-old receipts and year-old gum wrappers at the bottom of her handbag.

“If you’ve lost that ticket and it’s a winning one I’ll never forgive you.” Continue reading “The Lottery”

Bubblegum Blues

I saw a little kid walking away from an ice cream kiosk with an ice cream in such a vivid shade of blue that it almost hurt my eyes to look at it.

Naturally, I had to try it for myself.

I approached the kiosk and asked for a single scoop in a waffle cone. Turns out it was bubblegum flavour and it was absolutely fucking delicious. Continue reading “Bubblegum Blues”

Surprise, Valentine

My legs are aching and I know his are, too. We’re both exhausted, but we feel a sense of achievement like no other. I can speak for him, you see, because we’re always in touch with each other’s feelings. We’re a part of each other. He’s in my head, and I’m in his. We can basically finish each other’s sentences. Continue reading “Surprise, Valentine”

Stage Fright

Three hours I’ve waited in line. This better be worth it. Best attraction in London, they said. Get there early to beat the queues, they said. I was here at 9am on the dot and I still had to join the line three streets away from the theatre. It must be good if it’s this popular, but these days it’s hard to know what’s genuinely good and what’s just hype. Group of kids hanging around earlier were talking about waiting in the line just to see what the fuss was all about. Had no idea what they were even queuing for. Idiots. Continue reading “Stage Fright”