Phalluses of Modern Art | Microfiction

A roundup of the very short, tiny silly stories I wrote on Twitter and Instagram this week.

“Don’t act like the #victim in this.”
“But I am!”
“And don’t make me out to be the bad guy.”
“But you are!”
“I baked a cake – that’s it. It’s not my fault you ate the entire thing in one sitting and made yourself sick.”
“Ugh, whatever. Shut up and pass me the bucket.”#vss365

— Ellie Scott (@itsemscott) April 1, 2019

 

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A post shared by Tiny Silly Stories (@tinysillystories) on Apr 1, 2019 at 9:46am PDT

“#Verify identity,” says the computer.
He holds his breath as his iris is scanned.
“Success.”
He’s in, easy as pie. All it took was a kidnapping, a couple of rusty scalpels and an excruciating surgery.
He rubs at the eye that isn’t his own and wonders if it was worth it.#vss365

— Ellie Scott (@itsemscott) April 2, 2019

 

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A post shared by Tiny Silly Stories (@tinysillystories) on Apr 2, 2019 at 7:48am PDT

Her father sent her off with a warning: “Do NOT listen to the #voice in the woods.”
She plugged her ears with her fingers, but a wretched tree root tripped her up.
She threw out her arms to steady herself. Then she heard it.
“The tooth fairy isn’t real.”
Her heart broke.#vss365

— Ellie Scott (@itsemscott) April 3, 2019

 

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A post shared by Tiny Silly Stories (@tinysillystories) on Apr 3, 2019 at 9:42am PDT

“Lovely #vase.”
“Thanks! I made it myself.”
“Amazing. Is it difficult to do?”
“Not at all. You just saw off the crown, scoop out the brains, dunk it in resin and let it set. The hardest part is finding the victim and lopping their head off. That bit is just so messy.”#vss365

— Ellie Scott (@itsemscott) April 4, 2019

 

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A post shared by Tiny Silly Stories (@tinysillystories) on Apr 4, 2019 at 9:45am PDT

“I don’t trust her. She’s #vicious.”
“Nah! She’s just a bit blunt sometimes.”
They look over to their boss. She catches their eyes and flashes a smile, revealing a line of razor-sharp teeth and a forked tongue.
“See!”
“Hm. Maybe don’t piss her off in your next meeting?”#vss365

— Ellie Scott (@itsemscott) April 5, 2019

 

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A post shared by Tiny Silly Stories (@tinysillystories) on Apr 5, 2019 at 8:34am PDT

Author: Ellie Scott

Ellie Scott is a freelance copywriter and author from Sheffield, England. She has published two short story collections - 'Merry Bloody Christmas' and 'Come What May Day'. Her short fiction has appeared in 'Adler’s Writing', 'One Minute Wit', 'Invisible Illness' and 'VSS365 Anthology: Volume One'. In 2018 she was shortlisted for the Bridport Prize Short Story Award. You can connect with her on Twitter (@itsemscott), Instagram (@tinysillystories) and Medium (@elliemaryscott). View all posts by Ellie Scott