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Funnies
- That Time I Had to Call Pest Control on My Breast Mice
- That Time I Accidentally Sex Trafficked a Duck When I Was, like, 10 Years Old
- 32 Dumb Lessons I Learned in 32 Dumb Years: Idiot Edition
- Here Comes Dreary January
- How To Become a Cat Person
- A Conversation from the Washing Line
- The Only Words Uttered Today by a Single Woman With a Dog She Calls Her “First-Born”
Not Funnies
- Don’t Tell a Suicidal Person That They Are Loved
- Quitting Vaping Made Me Suicidal
- He Looks Old
- Social Anxiety is Making Me Painfully Lonely
- That Time a Teenage Boy Permanently Trashed My Self-Esteem via MSN Messenger
Poetry
- I Am a Fly Glued to a Smear of Honey
- The Queen is Dead, Are We All Alright?
- The Cold Will Eat Us Alive
- When It Rains It Pours
- Shall We Get Out of Here?
- Dream Big But Don’t Dream Too Big
- I Was a House Cat For a While
- This is What I Find at The Bottom of the Glass
- Free Snacks on the Streets of Hull
- Winter Ignition
- A Love Letter To His Next Love
- Shelley
- A Pep Talk for Grey Days
- If You Hate Yourself, Wash Your Hair
Open Letters
- An Open Letter to My Lost Forks
- An Open Letter to the British Sunshine
- An Open Letter to the Creature that Lives in the Old Ramshackle Graveyard
- An Open Letter to The Cats That Use My Bathroom Roof as a Wrestling Ring
- An Open Letter to the Block of Cheese in My Fridge
- An Open Letter to The Giant Spider I Rinsed Down the Plughole Last Night
- An Open Letter to My Neighbour Who Left a Giant Jar of Something Pickled in the Street
- An Open Letter to the Thing That Scuttles About in My Chimney
- An Open Letter to the Woodlouse My Dog Squashed
- An Open Letter to My Lost Hair Ties
- An Open Letter to the Men Who Hit On Me By Saying “Nice Dog”
- An Open Letter to Santa Before He Sneaks Down My Chimney
- An Open Letter to My True Love RE: Your Christmas Gifts to Me
- An Open Letter to My Neglected Iron