Silly stories from my social media pages this week…
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– So I said she was overreacting and she took great offence, then Dan piped up, took her side; I soon shut him down ‘cos it’s none of his business, not unless he agrees with me, and—
– Ssh, listen!
– …
– …
– What?
– #Silence. Isn’t it wonderful?
– Anyway, so…
– Ssh!
#vss365— Ellie Scott (@itsemscott) May 27, 2019
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“I see #Orion,” mutters his cellmate.
He peers up at the stains on the ceiling, just visible in the dim moonlight that pours through the barred window. “Yeah?”
“Yup. Love the night sky.”
He prays that freedom will come before he too begins to see stars in a dirty ceiling.#vss365— Ellie Scott (@itsemscott) May 29, 2019
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The carrots were blood red. The cabbages were blood red. The potatoes were blood red.
The cook was appalled. “How did this happen?”
“Shouldn’a put him in’t vegetable #patch,” the gardener muttered. “But if ya tell anybody I’ll sure as shit put ya there too. Get cookin’.”#vss365— Ellie Scott (@itsemscott) May 30, 2019
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For sale: Bonny #ancient woodland steeped in history.
Hear the legendary ‘screams for mercy’ (just the wind!)
See the ghoulish ‘river of blood’ (peaty water, duh!)
Escape the terrifying ‘axe-wielding madman’ (your own shadow, silly!)
Viewing essential (at your own risk).#vss365a— Ellie Scott (@itsemscott) June 2, 2019
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