Eau de Poo (A Poem by My Dog) | Microfiction

Dog rolling on its back illustration

Hey, how do you do?
Do you see all this poo
that’s smeared in my lovely hair?
It’s a statement, you see,
for the silly lady
who is in charge of my care.

Ellie’s her name
and she is to blame
for the stench I’m carrying round.
The vet said I was fat
and Ellie, the rat,
said a diet must soon be found.

“No more naughty treats,
we’ll watch what you eat
and soon you’ll be slim and strong.”
But I quickly grew bored
of the scant food she poured;
a diet? For me? It’s just wrong!

But I knew of a trick
that would make Ellie sick
and show her just who is in charge.
After walking a while
I’d find a nice pile
and swiftly towards it I’d barge.

I’d throw myself down
and squirm all around
and coat myself nose to paws,
In a vile natural scent
that is reminiscent
of sewers and soiled old drawers.

So that was the plan
and assure you I can
that it went down without a hitch.
I’m blathered in shit,
Ellie’s thrown a right fit
and she knows now that I am top bitch.

And I’ll have the last laugh
when Ellie runs a bath
and retrieves the sweet-smelling shampoo.
She’ll give me a scrub,
then I’ll lay on the rug,
still boasting a faint Eau de Poo.


Ellie’s note: True story.

Follow Ellie Scott on WordPress.com

Enjoyed this post? Share it with your friends!

16 thoughts on “Eau de Poo (A Poem by My Dog) | Microfiction

        1. Well we haven’t had any burglars so I guess so, although I’ve a feeling if we were ever broken into she would bark frantically and quickly run away. She’s a noisy coward!

Liked this? Tell me what you think below!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.