Let’s Walk (TiK ToK) | A Song Parody

Panting dog on lead

I wrote a song parody of ‘TiK ToK’ by Ke$ha for a fab Medium publication called Song Done Wrong. It made me snigger and I’m pretty proud of it, but I do apologise for inflicting this obnoxious earworm upon your lugholes. It takes me back to my uni days… oh, the hangovers.

Wake up in the morning feeling like I’m dizzy
Grab my dog I’m out the door ‘cos she needs to get busy
Before I leave, grab my coat and a big woolly hat
‘Cos when I peer out the door I know I’ll freeze in that

I’m talking icicles from my nose, nose
Wearing five layers of clothes, clothes
Cheeks got a bright red glow, glow

Skip-hopping while dog tugs on her lead, lead
Rollin’ up at the park scene
Tryin’ to get a little bit cosy

Continue reading on Medium >

Photo by Tucker Good on Unsplash

The Big Jump | Flash Fiction

Illustration of man jumping - "The Big Jump" flash fiction

I jump and my stomach – I swear to God – my stomach leaps up into my throat and tries to choke me to death.

I cough and hack and gasp for air as I tumble over and over, seeing green then blue then green then blue. Air rushes past me and batters my face, stinging my skin. If this hurts, what will the landing feel like? Face-first into concrete, in an ideal world. Will I feel anything at all or will it all be over before I know it? Continue reading “The Big Jump | Flash Fiction”

In Bits | Microfiction

Diamond illustration - "In Bits" microfiction

Sweat beaded on his forehead as he picked his way through the crisscross of lasers. The diamond was almost within his grasp.

His nose tickled. No. No, no, no. How could this happen to him at the very last moment?

He scrunched up his face, pushed his tongue up onto the roof of his mouth, closed his eyes and held his breath.

The tickle intensified. He couldn’t stop it. Continue reading “In Bits | Microfiction”

Whoopsie-Daisy | Flash Fiction

Banana peel illustration - "Whoopsie Daisy"

His eyes are stinging and prickly by the time he pulls up in front of his house at 2 A.M. An eight-hour drive, preceded by a ten-hour flight, makes for a mightily weary man. He thinks of his bed, soft and warm and utterly glorious.

He looks at his home. Every single light is turned off. Even the porch light.

“Damn it,” he mutters. “What did I tell her? Literally the last thing I said to her. ‘Leave the porch light on.’ How hard is that?” Continue reading “Whoopsie-Daisy | Flash Fiction”

Part of Something | Short Story

Mountain range illustration - "Part of Something" short story

Three strangers cling together, grubby, weak, and utterly terrified of the knives and guns and nail-ridden planks of wood that surround them.

“You’ll hand over everything you’ve got in exchange for safe passage through the valley.” Cain picks at his fingernails with the tip of his hunting knife. “Two of our own will escort you. They’ll leave you to continue your journey on the other side.”

One of the strangers shakes his head. “You can’t take everything. We need it to survive.” Continue reading “Part of Something | Short Story”