And so the ritual begins. Small humans roam the streets, all hyped up on the kinds of treats that big humans typically ration for the purpose of bribery. Humiliating outfits are abound, comprised of old rags, plastic sacks, enormous white sheets, obnoxiously large, wide-brimmed hats, and an array of peculiar masks which make humans look a smidgeon uglier than they already are. Vegetables are carved to look like ghoulish grinning faces and plonked outside doorways and in windows to give us poor felines a fright as we go about our night-time exploits. (Felines other than myself, of course. Nothing frightens me, I can assure you.) Then there’s all the noise—the yells and screams and cries from humans of all sizes, even the ones large enough and old enough to know better. The entire palaver makes my tail itch.Continue reading “A Lockout | Short Story (Excerpt from ‘All Hallows’ Hell’)”
It’s publication day for my debut novel, The Dead End! And you know what that means… Yes that’s right, I am a bagful of nervous excitement and excited nerves and I definitely feel the urge to curl up under my desk and pretend like it’s not happening and simultaneously run through the streets shouting, “I published a novel, I published a novel, I did it, I published a novel!”
Thank you very much to those who already pre-ordered The Dead End, I really appreciate your support. I hope it winds its way to your Kindle/tablet/e-reader/phone/computer successfully today and that you enjoy reading it!
And if you have no idea what The Dead End is or what it’s all about, you can read the first chapter for free right here.
Maddy Ward is almost pleased to find herself dead at 20 years old.
In the afterlife she’s reunited with her beloved late father and she thinks it might be time to wave goodbye to loneliness for good. But the road to happiness is never straightforward.
The afterlife thrives upon the dead’s happy memories of the living world, and with nothing but sadness to show for her life, Maddy is faced with a fate worse than death – her soul might cease to even exist.
And it’s not only her afterlife that’s at risk. Billions of souls, living and dead, are under threat of extinction, and Maddy might be the only one who can protect them. Does she have the strength to put things right, or will she let her fear and self-doubt turn the afterlife upside down?
Witty, imaginative, and wonderfully uplifting, The Dead End asks what it really means to live life to its fullest.
I guess you could say I went out with a bang. There was certainly a sickening thud as my body made contact with the car bonnet. But actually, other than those final few seconds before everything went black, the last day of my life was unbearably dull.
I ate a cheese and pickle sandwich for lunch. Cheese and bloody pickle, couldn’t be more boring. Even the car accident was a cliché; I was lost in thought when I stepped out into the road. Forgot to check for traffic. And those thoughts weren’t about anything interesting. I was wondering whether I should order ham and pineapple or pepperoni pizza for my dinner.
But the bit that happened directly after my death was significantly more interesting.Continue reading “The Dead End | Debut Novel”
It’s spring, it’s sunny and times are uncertain, but at least we have books, right? On that note, I’ve made my short story collection, Come What May Day, available for free until May 18th. You can grab a copy now from Amazon.
New book! All Hallows’ Hell
I’m working hard on the upcoming release of my Halloween-themed short story collection All Hallows’ Hell, which is now available for pre-order! If you like creepy stories, spooky stories, silly stories and cats, this is the book for you. It’ll be available in ebook and paperback on October 1st 2020.
Hi! It’s time for an obnoxiously long monthly blog. How has your December been? Did you overeat and overdrink and overspend on gifts? Me too!
Let’s get into it.Continue reading “I’m a Bestseller (lol) | December Blog”
Lit Up published my short creative nonfiction piece about losing my dad. It’s not the most cheerful thing I’ve ever written but we can’t write fun stories all the time, I guess!
His skin is too thin. Not papery — not that frail— but like the corners of a paperback that have been crumpled up and smoothed out one time too many. Each crease seems to be etched deeper than it was just twenty minutes ago. When the blood was still going round.
It’s my first foray into creative nonfiction and I’m really happy with how it turned out. Read it here.
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Photo by Silvestri Matteo on Unsplash
Feelin’ festive? Fancy a freebie? My short story collection, Merry Bloody Christmas is available for FREE for the next five days.
In a gloomy Yorkshire town on a snowy Christmas Eve, nothing pans out exactly as it should…
An awkward breakup, a vengeful turkey, digitalised ghosts and alien abductions. A chocoholic grizzly bear, a talking Christmas tree, mince pie overdoses and a very bloody murder.
Will poor old Saint Nick make it out alive?
Head over to Amazon to grab your FREE copy of Merry Bloody Christmas now.
Ho-ho-ho, Merry Bookmas!
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a new and totally unoriginal feature that I’m calling MONTHLY BLOGS. The concept is simple; I will have a ramble once a month about my writing life, my reading life and my personal life. Nobody asked for this but it’s happening. You’re welcome.
What have I been writing?
Aside from the fiction I’ve been posting here and on Medium, I’ve been frantically working on a whole bunch of other stuff in hopes of making up for time lost during my mental health crisis (we’ll get onto that later).
First, I’ve been cracking on with what I hope will be a final round of edits for my novel. I plan to query it to literary agents again because, well, why not? I’ve made some pretty big changes to the opening and to the ending since my last round of submissions, and the story is certainly better for it. But I’m doubtful that it will get picked up, mainly because
I want to keep my expectations low so that I’m not utterly crushed by inevitable rejection it’s kind of half way between the young adult market and the adult market and it’s hard to fit into a definitive genre. Basically, I don’t think it’s something that is ‘trendy’ enough in the traditional book biz right now. So when if I don’t get any bites from agents, I’m going to gear up to self-publish it next summer because I think it’s a good story, damn it. I’ve worked too long and too hard on this book to give up on it.