Gran pushes a parcel towards me. “I hope you like it. It’s exactly what you asked for.”
I tug at the bow and claw at the paper, barely daring to hope that she really did get me what I asked for.
“I suppose they must be all the rage,” she says. “I can’t quite keep up with all these trends. It all moves too fast. And I just hope it doesn’t go out of date before you get your use out of it.”
I open the box and I think my eyes are deceiving me.
Continue reading “What A Novelty | Microfiction”
It’s a yellow sticky note today. Blue ink. Just the one line: “Your hair is shit and so are you.”
Bit lacklustre. Not witty, not clever, not even particularly brutal. Perhaps the culprit’s losing his knack. After all, this is sticky note number 398. They’re bound to run out of insults to throw at me eventually. They can’t all be fierce doozies like number 187 (“Mr. Blobby called. He wants his body back.”) or number 249 (“Do something for the greater good. Kill yourself.”). They’ll probably stop soon.
Continue reading “Hate Notes | Flash Fiction”
The cliff is fast approaching.
“Car, slow down.”
“Request denied.”
“Car, stop.”
“Request denied.”
“Car, open door.”
“Request denied.”
“Car, please, please don’t kill me.”
Continue reading “Request Denied | Microfiction”
“8-day walk weeks. Living kibble portions for all. Nationalisation of every squirrel-infested woodland in the UK.
“Free obedience classes for all ages – pups to seniors. Hundreds of thousands of new, affordable kennels.
Continue reading “Vote Dog | Microfiction”
Lit Up published my short creative nonfiction piece about losing my dad. It’s not the most cheerful thing I’ve ever written but we can’t write fun stories all the time, I guess!
His skin is too thin. Not papery — not that frail— but like the corners of a paperback that have been crumpled up and smoothed out one time too many. Each crease seems to be etched deeper than it was just twenty minutes ago. When the blood was still going round.
It’s my first foray into creative nonfiction and I’m really happy with how it turned out. Read it here.
Feelin’ festive? Fancy a freebie? My short story collection, Merry Bloody Christmas is available for FREE for the next five days.
In a gloomy Yorkshire town on a snowy Christmas Eve, nothing pans out exactly as it should…
An awkward breakup, a vengeful turkey, digitalised ghosts and alien abductions. A chocoholic grizzly bear, a talking Christmas tree, mince pie overdoses and a very bloody murder.
Will poor old Saint Nick make it out alive?
Ho-ho-ho, Merry Bookmas!
Earl wipes sweat from his brow. Pearl gnaws on her fingernails. Their entire relationship depends on the outcome of this single moment – a polygraph test.
The examiner shakes his head. “The system says it was a lie.”
Earl explodes. “I knew it! How could you do that to me? And how could you lie to me about doing that to me?”
Continue reading “Liar | Microfiction”Something really cool happened. Janise Michel created an animation for one of my short stories, I Remember, for her digital drawing class at university. It’s amazing and you should watch it immediately! That is all.
There was an old woman from Hull,
Her finger she asked me to pull,
I dumbly agreed,
Oh, what a misdeed,
For she let rip a stench quite awful.
Continue reading “A Bad Limerick | Microfiction”