Imminent Threat | Microfiction

It was a subtle change, but not unnoticeable. There was something about the synthetic sun that wasn’t quite right. It burned too brightly. It was the wrong shade of yellow. Worst of all, it felt too close.

Each day at noon, it seemed as though the sun bore down on humankind like an imminent threat. But only a few believed the threat was real. Continue reading “Imminent Threat | Microfiction”

Stranger Scents | Flash Fiction

Gina could never resist a scented candle, so when she saw a new shop open on her high street which was dedicated to the things, she had to stop by.

As she walked through the door, she was revolted by the odour that assaulted her nostrils.

The shop owner laughed at her. “Pretty common reaction, that,” he said.

She winced. “Sorry. I guess one of your candles just isn’t my cup of tea.”

“Oh, very few of them will be your cup of tea, my dear. We specialise in niche scents. The smells that are less popular but are always a favourite of someone, somewhere, y’see? Here, let me show you.” Continue reading “Stranger Scents | Flash Fiction”

What Hunger Does | Microfiction

The noodles writhe in the bowl like worms. Jeb blinks at them repeatedly, wondering if it’s his eyes playing tricks on him.

“Hunger does funny things to our brains,” mutters the old woman from her armchair. “Eat up, lad. It’s delicious.”

It was hunger that had driven him towards the cottage. Hunger which had forced his knuckles to rap on the front door. Hunger which had made him ask for some scraps. Hunger had which pushed him into the home of a stranger despite his gut squeezing and churning in objection.

Jeb smiles at the old woman, who eagerly shovels noodles from her own bowl into her mouth.

Hunger had already done some daft things. Not much of a surprise, then, that it could make a benign bowl of noodles wriggle like a mound of worms…

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Mistaken Identity | Flash Fiction

They tell me I’m a penguin just like them. But I know I’m different.

For a start, I hate the cold. And I despise fish, which is about the only sustenance one can get around these parts. I’m a useless swimmer, too, which isn’t exactly ideal when, like I say, it’s fish, fish, fish on the menu. Continue reading “Mistaken Identity | Flash Fiction”

Tales from the Haunted Wordsmith by Teresa Grabs | Book Review

Teresa Grabs is known here on WordPress as The Haunted Wordsmith, and I’m a big fan of her work. She has a knack for writing witty shorts, unexpected twists, and dark tales that make you think. Her short story collection is more of the same fabulousness – smart, funny, uplifting, and wholly entertaining. Continue reading “Tales from the Haunted Wordsmith by Teresa Grabs | Book Review”

Be Transformed with DNA Body Rejuvenation Therapy™

Are you tired of the signs of aging? Are wrinkles, sagging skin, and sun spots getting you down? Is your figure not what it once was? Has your figure never been up to scratch? Do you have stubborn fat lurking around your middle? Is your hair turning grey and losing volume? Do you hate looking in the mirror?

Age Reversal Laboratories has the solution: DNA Body Rejuvenation Therapy™.

This all-new cosmetic procedure is perfect for individuals who desire a full body makeover with a single, simple procedure. We can turn back the years in a matter of months. You’ll look younger and feel more confident than ever before. It all begins with your DNA.

What is DNA Body Rejuvenation Therapy™?

You’ve all heard of Dolly the Sheep, right? Well, our technology is the very same as that used to create the famous Dolly, only more advanced, more reliable, and more versatile.

Here’s how it works:

First, you’ll have a consultation with one of expert physicians to discuss the age-related issues you’re dealing with. Then, you’ll talk results. Let us know exactly how you’d like to look, and we’ll make your dreams come true. Stronger cheekbones, perkier buttocks, glossier hair — whatever your vision of your perfect self, we can make it a reality.

Next, we’ll take a small vial of your blood. This the vital elixir which acts as the basis for your brand new body! We’ll retrieve your DNA and use our patented Gene Rejuvenation Technology™ to tweak it, giving you the perfect features you’ve always desired. It’s still your DNA, only better.

Once we’ve tailored your DNA to perfection, the talented technicians in our Growth Lab will quickly get to work on growing a brand new you. Our Advanced Body Growth Tonic™ allows us to mature your cloned body within just three months, rather than years. Think of it like the fertiliser you use in your garden, only for human bodies instead of plants — simple!

The Procedure

Now comes the exciting part.

When your new body has reached maturity, it is humanely slaughtered and prepared for transplant.* The surgery is incredibly simple; we just move your brain from your old body right into your new one…

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Mack and the Beansprouts | Flash Fiction

Mack had a hankering for a stir-fry. He had all the ingredients at home except for beansprouts, and he couldn’t possibly get the full satisfaction from a stir-fry that wasn’t loaded with beansprouts.

He nipped out to the local supermarket and picked up his beloved ingredient. It wasn’t until he reached the till and the cashier asked him for money that he realised he’d left his wallet at home.

“Sorry,” he said, “I’ll have to come back for them.”

The cashier smiled at him. “What else have you got?” she said.

“What do you mean?”

“I can trade them with you. What else have you got? Check your pockets.” Continue reading “Mack and the Beansprouts | Flash Fiction”

I Remember | Flash Fiction

It started when my boss asked for a strong black coffee. My mind catapulted to those cool Sunday mornings when I’d wake you up with a freshly made cup. The house would be tinged in the pale yellow of the early spring sun, and you’d smile at me, eyes still closed, as soon as the aroma of coffee roused you from sleep.

At lunch, it was a dress that did it. Dark blue and covered in little white spots, worn by the woman who stood in front of me in the queue at the supermarket. You had a dress just like it. At least, I think you did; it looked like something you would wear. But I suppose I never paid enough attention. Your wardrobe now is a hazy memory – a blur of blues and whites and greys and every now and again, when I insisted it suited you, a splash of red. Continue reading “I Remember | Flash Fiction”

The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough | Book Review

My copy of The Thorn Birds used to belong to my grandparents. It’s a hardback and missing its dust jacket, and other than the title and the author’s name printed on the spine, I knew absolutely nothing about it before reading it – not the blurb, not the genre, not a single thing. I’d never heard of it before. It was an unknown adventure in reading.

If I’d have looked the book up on Goodreads before I delved into it, I probably would never have started it. Apparently, The Thorn Birds is a sweeping romance novel that documents the lives of an Australian family over the course of three generations. Meh, boring – that doesn’t sound like my cup of tea at all. But oh, how wrong I was. I loved it!

This book is a soap opera. It’s got family feuds, long-hidden secrets, dreamy romance, saucy sex scenes, gruesome deaths, the horrors of war, natural disasters, handsome priests, beautiful women, and plenty of scandal. Continue reading “The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough | Book Review”

A Character | Microfiction

The Lost Property office was manned by a bloke that some called “a character.” The less polite simply referred to him as “an arsehole.”

‘Not seen any legs round here,’ he said with a shrug to the worried face in front of him. ‘Sorry.’ Continue reading “A Character | Microfiction”