‘He’s terribly cute.’ Cute aren’t I? ‘Adorable.’ I’d make a lovely lodger. Neat. Tidy. Quiet, except for when the postman comes and you need an advance warning of him shoving danger through the letterbox.
“I can’t believe that dumb bitch put me in the washing machine.” Silk Shirt takes in the dark grey sky and her rage grows. “If it pisses it down on me now, I swear I’ll shrink on purpose just to teach her a lesson.” “Give it a bloody rest, will you?” mutters Holey Old Band […]
“…so the pig offered a piece of his meat for the bloke to use as a muscle in his leg. That’s why they call it a hamstring.” “Cool! Thanks, Dad.” Kids are inquisitive. Too inquisitive, for Jez’s liking. They ask a lot of questions to which nobody really knows the answers, but if you try […]
BONG. “No!” BONG. “They’re coming!” BONG. “Everybody run! Get outta here! Find shelter!” But the bells are too fast, too big. They bong through the streets relentlessly, their bronze surfaces glimmering beneath the insipid sun of the winter afternoon. They’re taller than the buildings they pass by, wider than the cars that swerve and screech […]
The cretins have locked me in again. I can only assume it is down to the cold, white fluff which is falling from the sky. It may be chilly, but it’s awfully pretty to look at and rather fun to frolic in. I suppose it will have to suffice that I watch it through the […]
It started when my boss asked for a strong black coffee. My mind catapulted to those cool Sunday mornings when I’d wake you up with a freshly made cup. The house would be tinged in the pale yellow of the early spring sun, and you’d smile at me, eyes still closed, as soon as the […]