Today’s The Day

“Stop running around like a blue-arsed fly and sit down on the blanket!”

The child froze, then turned to his mother and pouted. “But I’m bored.”

“I’m bored of your whinging.”

“But I’m hungry.”

“So sit on the blanket and eat some berries.” His mother raised her brows to let the child know that there would be dire consequences if he disobeyed. Continue reading “Today’s The Day”


“So, we’ve tenderized the meat, we’ve smothered it in a delicious coating of egg, flour, and breadcrumbs – seasoned to perfection, I might add – so what’s next?”

The audience remained quiet. The chef waited a few moments to allow them to marinate in their own silence, hoping they would realise how disrespectful they were being. Continue reading “Schnitzel”